Here are a few hints, suggestions and rules to enable you not only to survive but also enjoy your holiday with us to the fullest:
1. You are in a Beachfront Accommodation! Please make sure you and anyone you know can swim as there are no Life-Guards attending the beach. You will see Dolphins and maybe Whales close to the shore, please do not try and swim out to them as they are not as close as they seem. If you see any Pink whales, we suggest you add more water to your drinks.
2. As there are no Safety Nets, please be advised that there may be some “Long Toothed” Fish (Sharks), who have to eat at sunset. We would like to see you again, so please do not brave the waters after 5pm and also be aware during Overcast days.
3. While every effort is made to keep our guests away from the Local Wildlife, the Wildlife is sometimes curious about you. So from time to time you could have a visitor and as much as you would like to invite it in for a cup of Coffee, Tea or something stronger, please don’t as their table manners leave a lot to be desired! The rule of thumb is if it Hisses, Huffs and Puffs or Rears up, do not try to catch it – call Reception and we will send one of our strong, Rangers who are fearless in the face of danger.
4. Should it be an animal that (according to Darwin) looks like our Ancestors, this is not a Caveman but rather a Vervet Monkey. Leave the door open and call Reception and again we will send one of our Rangers to help it leave.
5. Should you be woken at night by something flying around in your room it is most probably a Bat. Before you reach for the Garlic, it is not a Vampire Bat (this is not the set of the Twilight Saga). It is an Insect Bat, totally harmless to humans. As it is Night, switch off all your lights and open the doors. This normally works. For those Guests (we mean Bats) who just won’t get the hint, you can call our Security Guard to assist.
6. For the very small Bugs, we suggest that you keep the doors closed at night when you have the Lights on. Make use of the Mosquito Net in the Room. We suggest that you leave the Ceiling Fan on as flying creatures do not like the air movement. If you are bitten, do not panic, you are in a low area for Malaria. Our other hint is that we have found that a stiff Rum & Raspberry before bed does wonders for the Mozzies. Enough R&R’s and you won’t care anyway.
7. All our water is drawn from the Borehole and is perfectly safe to Shower and Brush your teeth with. Our BAR offers Filtered Water on request and this can be ordered and if you don’t feel like walking, it will be brought to you....No! Not a Resort Ranger but by one of our Food and Beverage team.
8. We do a limited service for Food and Beverage. Please note that the good looking Managers and Staff are not on the menu. We would prefer you to enjoy the atmosphere in the Dining area and BAR, rather than order Room Service. There is nothing better than recharging on the spacious Deck overlooking the Ocean with the benefit of some Vitamin D (the Sun).
9. Whilst we do want you to experience “the Great Outdoors” we do understand that you need to watch TV. For most important things like Rugby, football and Cricket, the woman will be pleased to know that we only accommodate Sport Channels in our Cantina. The Rooms are equipped with a Flat Screen LED TV, ESAT Channels. There are DVD’s for rent to spark the Romance as well as different Genres “everyone” can enjoy together. The choice is yours! Sorry Girls, if your man insists on watching Sport, DSTV will be available for viewing at the Cantina.
10. Finally, (we are almost there) because Wood is made from Trees, we ask that you please do not Smoke in the Rooms or light any Candles as there are No Fire Trucks nearby and we are still training our Elephants to like the taste of Sea Water. The Fire Extinguishers are not toys or an invitation to be used as one. Please NO BRAAIS ON THE BALCONY, We do have a Designated Braai Area.
Now having followed all these tips you can proudly leave your comments and follow us on Face book as we strive on making your stay at Ponta do Ouro your second home where your Comfort is our Comfort.
I survived Ponta do Ouro!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Central Reservations Telephone: +258 (84) 010 6196
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